Discipline and grit are traits that everyone wants to build. But what are they?
Itβs training your mind and body to do what you want them to do.
Itβs keeping the promises you make to yourself.
Itβs a way to stay focused on the long-term goal you have and ignore your short-term desires.
In essence, grit and discipline are powerful force that helps you drive toward greatness. But most people have no idea how to build and protect their discipline. I hope to change that with this article. Understanding these five habits will help you be much more disciplined.
Here are five daily habits of people who are more gritty and disciplined than everyone else, according to psychology:
1. They focus on what they can change and release the rest
Most people think they are 100% in control of their lives. But they arenβt. Hereβs proof. There was a study conducted in a hospital cafeteria:
- Scenario one: For a few weeks in the cafeteria, soft drinks were both on the menu and displayed in the refrigerator.
- Scenario two: Then, for a few weeks, soft drinks were replaced with water bottles in the refrigerator, but they were still on the menu.
This is what they found. The sales of soft drinks dropped significantly in scenario two. This means the cafe manager had the power to influence a lot of peopleβs health choices without them even realizing it.
The point here is this: your environment influences your decisions much more than you think. Hence, if your environment goes against your discipline, itβs a constant war that youβre going to fight β some battles you may win, but some, youβre going to lose.
Hence, the only way to truly win is to end the war altogether. Design your environment to support you.
Remove junk food from your kitchen. If itβs not there, youβre just not going to eat it.
Delete all or, at least, a few social media apps you scroll on.
Stop being roommates with the person who never cleans the dishes.
2. They choose the best path, not the shortest path
Whatever your destination might be, there are many ways to reach it. But hereβs the mistake most people make. Since they want super-fast results, they go for the shortest route. But they donβt like this route. However, they think they can push through β and this is not true for 98% of the people. They eventually quit the path and the journey altogether.
A better alternative is to choose a path that may be a bit longer; however, itβs prettier. Choose the one youβll enjoy walking on, as supported by a study from the American Psychological Association. Thatβll make your journey more sustainable and, paradoxically, get you results faster.
For instance, if you want to lose weight, quit the super-strict no junk food diet. Instead, choose a diet that allows for a little bit of indulgence here and there while still maintaining a caloric restriction. Choose the diet you can stick to the longest.
3. They set clear boundaries and continually reinforce them
More often than not, people (especially people who are super close to you) can turn out to be distractions in your life, and itβs not necessarily their fault. Their goals, schedules, and work ethic cannot always align with yours. And hence, people will act as distractions in your life, and you in theirs.
Hence, itβs a good idea to try to train people around you to support your discipline, and not try to break it. For instance, people around popular entrepreneur Tim Denning know that theyβre not supposed to call him on his writing days, which are two days a week.
When I read about it, I tried to do the same. In passing, I mentioned to my then-girlfriend that Iβm gonna have two writing days in a week, and on those days, Iβll not use my phone at all. I didnβt specifically tell her not to call me. I just conveyed the importance of being distraction-free on those days.
And on those days, she never called me during the day. We talked only when the workday was over. And even when she forgot and called to ask me, βHey, whatβs up?β Iβd say, βOh, nothing. Just writing an article because itβs my writing day.β Sheβd say, βOh, yeah! Write away! Letβs talk in the evening.β
Itβs not manipulation. Itβs just you conveying to the people around you the importance of your discipline. And it can be direct as well. For instance, Iβve told my mom never to cook unhealthy food when Iβm visiting. And so she doesnβt.
4. They get their head in the right place
There are two ways to go easy on yourself:
- Number one: You make reasonable promises to yourself, but always keep them. βBoy! Going to the gym 6 days a week is turning out to be tiring. But well, I said Iβll go today, so Iβll go today. But from next week, Iβll try out a 4-day split.β
- Number two: You donβt keep the promises you make to yourself. βI know I said that Iβll go to the gym today, but itβs been a tiring day at work; itβs okay if I skip.β
Get your head in the right place. Itβs not okay. Itβs not okay at all. In scenario one, you respect your word. In scenario two, your word turns out to be a problem. Discipline is all about respecting the promises you make to yourself. Hence, if you want to go easy on yourself, make easier promises β but always keep them.
5. They expect mental pushback and move forward anyway
Your mind is the most cunning thing ever. It knows exactly how to break your discipline and turn you into a βwakes-up-in-the-afternoon-and-snacks-on-fried-chips-all-dayβ person. Hereβs how it does it. Research from the Journal of the Association for Psychological Science showed that βimpulses tend to grow stronger over time, so self-control strategies, which can nip a tempting impulse in the bud, may be especially effective in preventing undesirable action.β
Letβs say youβre waking up at 6 AM every day for a month now. Itβs not like your brainβs suddenly suggesting that you wake up at 11 AM. You wonβt entertain that! So what it does is request that you say yes to.
At 6 AM, it will say, βLetβs just sleep for five more harmless minutes.β And you think, βWell, itβs just five minutes. It does seem harmless.β It does this again and again. And you say yes because you think these micro-requests to break your discipline are benign and harmless. However, they are anything but harmless.
Because over time, these keep hammering at your discipline until one day, it breaks wide open β and you find yourself waking up at 11.
Thatβs why you need to stay vigilant of these seemingly harmless requests to break your discipline. Theyβre not harmless. Theyβre a gateway to self-destruction. Donβt give in to them.
- Design your environment to align with your goals.
- Choose the path you can walk the longest on.
- Train people around you not to distract you.
- If you want to go easy on yourself, make easier promises. But never break them.
- Your mind breaks your discipline by asking for seemingly harmless requests. Stay vigilant. Donβt give in.